All of this, All of us
by darveysecretsanta2018
Summary: Donna gives Harvey her resignation letter and decides to leave NYC; Harvey realises he's wrong and goes after her. Darvey


**Prompt by Carmen ( donnaonpoint):** (pre-canon) Donna gives Harvey her resignation letter and decides to leave NYC (on December 24th); Harvey realises he's wrong and goes after her, buying a last-minute ticket for her flight.

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_Dear Harvey. Effective immediately, I, Donna Paulsen, hereby resign from the firm. Make no mistake - I wish I could stay, but I know that I can't. Therefore, I thank you for giving me the chance to be your Chief Operating Officer. I hope I have proved myself worthy of the title. _

_Unfortunately, I didn't prove myself worthy as your friend. I put myself first. Therefore, it's time for me to go - though I will miss working with you, and everyone at the firm, more than I can say. _

_Goodbye Harvey. Please consider this my formal resignation._

The growing sound of white noise started to ring in his ears. He swallowed, licked his lips. Blinked, again and again and again. He felt the world start to spin around him, and he reached for the corner of his desk for support. _Breath_, he told himself. _Breath_. He loosened his tie and staggered over to the small table to pour himself a glass of water. Fumbling with the tumblr, he spilt the liquid on his shirt, but he didn't care as he gulped it down, trying to steady himself. He breathed in deeply, running his hands over his face.

_She's gone._

The rest of the evening passed in a blur. He took a cab to Paula's. He wasn't even sure why he went there, because he didn't want to see her. He wanted to see Donna. But he knew that he shouldn't want to see Donna.

"Are you ok, Harvey? You seem a little distracted."

Paula's voice floated over to him as they sat on her couch, a glass of scotch in his hand as he payed less than zero attention to the movie she had put on.

He brought himself back in to the room. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm ok." He tried to give her a casual smile, absolutely not in the mood to discuss Donna's letter.

Paula seemed to buy this, because she ducked her head and snuggled closer to him.

"What the hell is your problem today, Harvey?"

Louis spoke harshly, but it wasn't unwarranted. Normally, whether Louis was right or not, Harvey would have stood up to him, but instead now his shoulders sagged in defeat. "Nothing's wrong Louis. I'm sorry."

The shorter man sighed, undoing the button on his suit jacket before sitting down next to Harvey on the sofa.

"Harvey. It's been two weeks since Donna left." Louis looked Harvey in the eye. "And it doesn't seem like you're doing too well."

Harvey stood up, going to his desk and picking up a file, speaking forcefully. "Can we just focus on winning this case, please?"

In reaction to Harvey's demeanour rather than in answer to his question, Louis shook his head. "I've never seen you like this, Harvey. You're not in the room."

Harvey took a deep breath. "I am in the room. And I think I know how we can win this thing."

By the end of the third week, he wasn't really papering over the cracks anymore. He'd taken it out on Mike, shouting at him for not filing an affidavit, when in reality, Harvey had forgotten to even ask Mike to file it in the first place. He snapped at Rachel, not appreciating her suggestion that he take a break and get some fresh air. And then he fired his secretary.

Louis thundered in to his office.

"Goddamit Harvey, tell me what's going on with you right now or so help me I'll have the partners vote to force you in to a sabbatical."

Harvey sighed in defeat, slumping down into the chair behind his desk. He knew what the problem was. Louis knew what the problem was. But he couldn't say it.

"Harvey." Louis spoke more softly now, and sat in the opposite chair. "Have you spoken to her?"

Harvey met Louis' eye, and shook his head.

"Why not?" He didn't sound accusatory.

"It's difficult. Paula..." He trailed off, fiddling with his hands.

Louis nodded, and looked towards the window.

"Harvey. She's leaving tonight. Flying to Connecticut."

Harvey's eyes flew back to meet his.

"When?"

"Eight o'clock."

When she walked in, he was sitting in the same chair that had been his when he was her patient. A distant part of his brain recognised how strange that was, but he wasn't about to deal with that just now.

"Harvey!" Paula sounded surprised when she entered the room and saw him sitting there. "I didn't know you were coming over." She was happy to see him. He steeled himself.

"Paula. I haven't been... entirely honest with you lately."

A troubled look settled over her features, and she sat down opposite him. "Oh?" The inflection in her voice invited him to continue.

"Yeah. I've... not been doing so good."

"Since Donna left?"

Paula's direct statement took him by surprise. "How'd you know she left?"

"I'm not stupid Harvey. I know you've not been yourself for a few weeks, but not once have you mentioned her."

"So why didn't you say anything?"

She sighed. "I've been waiting for you to tell me, I suppose. But I think I know now that honesty when it comes to talking about Donna isn't something you're forthcoming with."

"I love her."

His words left a resounding silence ringing through her townhouse. He stunned them both with his admission. Harvey couldn't quite believe that those word had just come out of his mouth. And yet as soon as he spoke, he realised that he had never felt more sure of anything in his entire life. It all made sense now. All of it.

And it was nearly 6, and he had to get to the airport.

Paula didn't say anything at first. She just watched him. He could see the tears welling in her eyes, and he hated that he had broken her heart.

"I'm sorry, Paula."

She collected herself, and wiped her eyes. Flattening down her skirt, she stood up. "I know you're in love with her, Harvey. I was... hoping you could move on. But it's clear that's not going to happen."

Harvey rose from his chair. "I wanted this to work Paula. I really did." He licked his lips, and spoke softly. "I have to go."

She nodded.

"Goodbye Harvey."

He reached out, his hand brushing her elbow. "Take care Paula."

He turned and left for the door, and made his way in to the harsh fresh air, which hit him hard. It was snowing, actually, but he didn't notice. His newfound self-realisation was washing over him. Without looking back, he got into the back of Ray's car, and told him to get to the airport as quickly as goddamn possible.

"Excuse me. Excuse me!" Harvey waved at an airport worker in a high-vis, frantically trying to catch the man's attention. "I need to get through this gate."

"Do you have your boarding card sir?"

His jaw clenched. "I'm not on a flight - I just need to talk to my - my - " He drew a blank at describing their current status and sighed in frustration. "I don't have a fucking boarding card ok, I just need to get through these gates."

"Sir, I'm afraid that's not possible. You'll need to purchase a ticket."

Motherfucker. He cursed under his breath and wheeled away from the ticket barrier, eyes scanning the departure boards. Louis had told him that she was due to fly out around 8. Locating her flight number, he strode up to the airline desk and joined the short line. Agitation rippled through him, and he told himself to breath, slowly. In through the nose, out through the mouth...

"Next."

He stepped up to the counter.

"I need a seat on the eight o clock to Connecticut."

The woman sitting behind the desk scanned the screen in front of her. Harvey tapped his fingers impatiently on the counter, watching her intently, awaiting her answer, trying not to jump down her throat, trying to stay patient... Without looking up at him, the woman spoke. "Sir, I'm afraid we only have executive seats available on that flight now."

"That's great. I need to book one of those."

This time, she did look up at him, raising an eyebrow at his impatience. "That'd be $2,000 sir."

His AMEX was in his hand before she finished speaking. She took it from him far too slowly for his liking as he pulled his passport from his inside pocket, and mechanically went through all the details of the booking. When she handed him a form to sign, he did so without question, and stuck his hand out, waiting for her to give him the ticket. Then, in a flash, he was gone.

Harvey raced back over to the barrier and scanned his boarding card, breathing a sigh of relief when the gates opened and allowed him access to the rest of the airport.

High-pitched, incessant Christmas tunes sang through the speakers as Harvey stood in line for security. He had no baggage with him so he got through relatively quickly, and then he wove his way through the restaurants and department stores in duty free. Women waved perfume samples at him and men shouted to get his attention and sell him vodka and scotch and god knows what else as he raced past, his eyes searching for an electronic board so he could find her gate.

As he burst into more open space, he spotted the information he needed. Gate 75. His head swivelled from side to side, eyes darting across the forecourt and eventually spotting a sign pointing him in the right direction.

Ten minute walk, the sign informed him. Grinding his teeth together, he set off. Having broken in to a light jog, he arrived at her gate after maybe six minutes. But when he got there, he could only see a family with small kids playing on a tablet, and a young couple staring into the distance, his head on hers. Harvey's eyes lingered on the couple for a moment before he headed for the stairs, hoping to get a better vantage point from higher up.

He reached the upper level and stood at the barrier, gazing down at the frankly ridiculous amount of people below him. It looked like the entirety of New York had descended on the airport on Christmas Eve.

His eyes scanned the crowd, hovering whenever he spotted a dash of red hair. His eyes landed on a champagne bar, and sure enough, there she was - his heart skipped - sitting at the bar, talking to a tall, dark-haired man.

—

"I don't believe that for a second."

The handsome man surveyed Donna with a smile on his face, despite his disbelief.

Her eyebrow peaked as she reached for her champagne flute. "Believe it or don't. It's true."

He shook his head slightly. "I can't understand how anybody could possibly ask you to leave. Hell, I met you twenty minutes ago and I'm already considering asking you to come and work for me."

Donna laughed at this, pleasantly surprised at the man's charm. "I don't even know your name."

"I'm Thomas. Thomas Kessler. I'm the CEO of a furniture company which you probably haven't heard of." He smiled at her. "I won't bore you with the details."

The name rang a bell in Donna's head, but the champagne was clouding her memory slightly. "You sound like an important man, Thomas."

"I am." He answered assuredly, but she got the impression he didn't take himself too seriously, and she felt herself blush. "And I get the impression you're an important woman."

She placed her flute back on the bar, and extended a hand to him. "I'm Donna."

"It's nice to meet you Donna."

"Nice to meet you too, Thomas."

She dropped his hand after a moment longer than was necessary, and made a mental note to slow down on the alcohol, not sure if this sudden flirtation was moving too quickly, when an oh-so-familiar and yet oh-so-unexpected voice shouted her name.

"_Donna_!"

She turned on her stool and surprise overrode her as she saw Harvey striding towards her.

"Harvey?!"

He arrived in front of her, slightly breathless and his cheeks flushed, his collar undone and his tie long since discarded.

Stepping up from her stool, she pulled Harvey a few steps away from the bar, her hand in the crook of his arm. "What - how did you get through security?"

"I bought a ticket."

"You bought a ticket?"

"Yeah."

She glanced down and saw the plane ticket that he was still clutching in his hand. "You bought a ticket on my flight?"

He nodded.

She shook her head.

"Why are you here, Harvey?"

His tongue darted out to wet his lips before he spoke, and he tried to quell the growing unease in his stomach. With a breath, he spoke. "You can't get on that plane, Donna."

A mixture of bewilderment and resentment settled over her face. "Why's that?"

"Because I need you to come back to me."

Before he had time to process what she was about to do, her hand slapped across his face. She was so angry. His cheek stung, redder than it had been from the exertion when he first arrived, now pink from the contact of her hand.

"Are you fucking serious?!" She seethed, trying to keep her voice low, but still drawing glances from those around them. "I haven't heard from you in three weeks, Harvey. When I left that letter on your desk I thought I might at least get a thank you. Louis and Mike and Rachel and Gretchen and Jessica all reached out - but i haven't heard a fucking thing from you. And now you turn up here? On Christmas Eve?! What, you need some last minute secretarial duties doing?"

He stood there as she let rip at him, still grasping the defunct plane ticket in his hand. "You kissed me, Donna. Remember that? You messed with my relationship. Can you blame me for not rushing to reach out?" He could feel a sudden fight being kindled within him.

"We've been through this Harvey. And then you chose her over me, which is why I'm here, in an airport on freaking Christmas Eve, trying to fly to Connecticut to get away from this goddamn place for a while."

"I didn't choose her."

She laughed, but there was no humour in it. "What do you call letting me resign and not even being around to help me pick up the pieces?"

He ground his teeth together. "I'm here now. In an airport on freaking Christmas Eve." He echoed her words back at her.

She shook her head. "I'm leaving this city, Harvey, I'm leaving my home, my job, my friends, the people I love." His eyes darted to hers at that, but she didn't leave him space to speak. "I'm doing all of this for you, so that you can live happily ever after." She stopped to observe him. "Does Paula even know you're here?"

He held her eye. The words were struggling to leave his mouth. He knew he needed to speak, but it was so damn difficult to know what to say. So he went with honesty.

"We broke up. I ended it."

He nodded his head a little, as though to emphasise the finality, and waited for her to speak.

Donna hadn't been expecting that. She hadn't heard from Harvey in weeks, and she had missed him - needed him - so much in that time. She'd made arrangements with Louis to make sure her workload was covered at the firm. She'd spoken with Stu about that job offer, even if it had been engineered by Harvey in the first place. She got drunk with Rachel and ranted about Harvey and woke up with a hangover and spent the day feeling sorry for herself. She arranged to visit her family in Connecticut for the holidays, desperate for a change of scene. She cried more than once, usually when she was alone in her apartment, reflecting on the past twelve years.

And now... out of the clear blue sky, he turns up. He's at the airport, on Christmas Eve, with a ticket on her flight, telling her he's broken up with his girlfriend.

She was confused and she was surprised, and her face softened. Pressing her lips together, Donna scanned his face, trying to get a read on him.

"Are you ok?"

He answered her question with a question.

"Will you come back?"

Harvey's eyes clung to hers as he waited for her to answer.

_FINAL CALL FOR PASSENGERS ON FLIGHT 710 TO CONNECTICUT_

The announcement rang through the speakers. Donna glanced behind her at the bar where she had been sitting, and saw that her tall, handsome friend had left. Sighing, she looked back at Harvey.

"Harvey, I can't do this. It's Christmas Eve. I have to catch this flight."

"Donna -"

"Goodbye, Harvey. Merry Christmas."

She reached for her suitcase, and turned to walk towards the line, but Harvey's hand flew out and intercepted her. His fingers found her waist and he pulled her back towards him and before she had time to realise what he was doing, he kissed her.

Harvey poured all of his unsaid words and all of his unrealised feelings in to his kiss. His lips were soft against hers, his movements gentle, as he allowed her the opportunity to pull away, to push him back, to shout at him for being so bold.

She didn't do any of that. He felt her hesitation, but then he felt her relax in to the kiss, her hands settling on his shoulders, and with a little more assurance, he decided to show her exactly how he felt. His tongue pushed past her lips and brushed against hers. He felt her sigh against his mouth, and Harvey pulled on her waist, bringing her closer against him, kissing her with even more fervour, his body responding in exactly the way it did when she had kissed him just a few weeks previously. Donna felt this and reacted in kind, moving her hands down his body and pulling on his hips. He moaned in to the kiss, and finally pulled his head back.

They stood amongst the crowd, not hearing the announcement informing them that the gate had closed for her flight. Harvey stood with his hands cradling Donna's face, his thumbs moving softly against her skin, his forehead still pressed against hers. He waited for her eyes to meet his before he spoke.

"You know I usually need you to explain my feelings to me." His mouth quirked up at the corner. "But you haven't exactly been available to do that lately. And Paula was hardly racing to spell it out to me that I'm in love with you. But I got there on my own." He swallowed. "I'm not afraid anymore, Donna."

In shock at his actions and his words, Donna's mouth hung open slightly, her eyes wide as she listened to him. Her hands were resting against his chest, and she could feel his heart beating fast through his shirt.

"Donna. I need you. I'm all in on this. I want all of you. All of this, all of us." He took a breath. "What do you say?"

Her eyes were glued to his, and he felt as though she could see right in to his soul, like she knew every single one of his thoughts, but he didn't shy away. He held her gaze and waited the painful four or five seconds until she gave him her answer.

With a tentative, nervous movement, she nodded her head. Her eyes were watery, holding back the tears at what he'd just told her. "I say yes, Harvey." And then, a little more assuredly... "Yes."

A wide smile stretched across his face at her answer. "Yes?"

"Yes."

Her smile matched his, now, and she leaned up to kiss him again. This time, it was gentle and soft, and it was full of hope and promise.

He pulled back and angled his head towards the exit. "You ready to come home?"

Home. Back to New York, back to her job, to the firm, and to her friends, to the people she loved - back to him.

"Yeah." She wiped her face, aware that she had let some of the tears spill out. But they were happy tears. She reached for her luggage.

"You know, I think you had an admirer over there." He nodded towards the bar.

"Good job you finally got your shit together then, isn't it, Mister." But she smiled at him. Beamed, in fact.

He reached out for her, and took her hand. "C'mon. Let's go home."

She was pretty sure this was going to be a goddamn fantastic Christmas.


End file.
